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FOREWORD
(Forward!)
”When I wrote the following pages, or the bulk of them, I lived alone, in
the woods, a mile from any neighbor, in a house which I had built myself...”
Those are the first words to Henry David Thoreau’s Walden and I can
tell you without hesitation there have been times in the past I have felt like a
Thoreau on wheels. I was never physically a mile from any neighbor; cars parked
and pulled away, passing by on the nearby highway, daredevils on two wheels
dopplered on past, trucks en route came, went, and sat idling through the
nights; but I was definitely light years away from any of them in purpose if not
on pavement. We shared the same roads but steered very different journeys.
The path of freedom via voluntary simplicity and nomadicism is as noble and
spiritual a path as any, and if my little words become one of its good books to
you I am humbled. This is my grand work, my final statement before I slip away,
off down the road to see what the rest of the ride has in store.
Here (as you may have guessed from the title) is everything I know about living
on wheels. Some of this material dates back to Nomadic Notations, first
published in 1998. Much of it is newer, and all of it has been given the once
over twice, tuned up, revised, and offered here. I hope it fuels your search,
lightens your load, and helps to light the road ahead. Thank you for the
opportunity to be of service, and peace be with you all.
33s & out,
VanDweller
Texas
August, 2005
TABLE
OF CONTENTS
Introduction
Vehicle Selection
Systems
Build-Out
Equipment & Accessories
Lifestyle
The Road
Notes on a Nomadic Chapter
LandDweller
Work & Jobs
Spiritual Matters
Lists
Writings ~ Stuff To Ponder
Recommended You Check Out
Introduction
Hey, whatever works for them is cool. If they love the job or they’re doing
what they have to to provide for the family or really find themselves through
the kids and all… I’m NOT down on that. Just down on that for ME. It won’t
work for some. I was lucky enough to realize that young and got out before I
really even got in, you know? It’s not like I dropped out of anything; I never
had more than one cheek on the chair.
Vehicle
Selection
THE
KISS PRINCIPLE:
KEEP
IT SIMPLE, STUPID.
THE
SEVEN P PRINCIPLE: PROPER
PRIOR PREPARATION PREVENTS PISS
POOR PERFORMANCE.
THE
ASSUME PRINCIPLE:
ASS/U/ME:DON'T ASSUME. YOU'LL MAKE AN
ASS OUT OF U AND ME.
...and
FUNCTIONALITY FIRST
Since every home-built rig is an artwork,
each of us is an artist in pursuit of our own individual picture of what
"ultimate" IS. So I'll share my thoughts and experiences on the matter
(and a few layouts I came up with), and even if you think they all bite, it will
hopefully inspire you to dream up your own palace on wheels and build it, and
take to the highway. Build it on paper first, get Motorhome and Trailer
Life (after all, a motorhome is just a trailer on a self-propelling chassis)
and all the books on vans and campers you can find. Go to a Camper's World and
look at the different layouts the manufacturers build in the different length
chassis. Take notes, draw layouts, figure out your wants and needs and fit 'em
all together the right way for you. Find counters that are the right height, or
seats that are the right length, and take notes and measurements to apply to
YOUR layout. Also note the space utilization and how the systems are tucked into
the overall design. Read up and ask around about these various systems in a
vehicle like this. The drivetrain, the chassis, the secondary 12v DC
"house" electrical setup, propane systems, water works, bathroom
options (beyond "#1" and "#2"), and storage can all be
designed by you if you know something about how they work, no nook or cranny
wasted.
Will you be relocating every day or every six months? Back-woods rut-roads or
mostly highway? Just you or two or ten? Can you deal with crapping in a
Porta-Potti? If not, can you deal with dump stations and flushing out your
on-board sewage ("black water") tank? Can you deal with the fact that
you will be dealing, one way or another eventually, with YOUR OWN SHIT? It
doesn't just disappear when you flush, there aren't any garbage men waiting on
your curb, and you are your own power company. This all needs to be dealt with
by YOU. So think about it and build to suit your needs.
My peeve, for example, is that in most motorhomes in the 20 to 25' range, you
have to get rid of the table to make room to sprawl out; the table folds down
and becomes the middle part of the bed. It's a great design for most, but I like
the option of sprawling out on a couch and having the table intact simultaneously.
So, I can either buy (oh sure) a 35' "class A" (full-size) and get the
collapsible dinette and the couch, or....I can grab some blank paper and
design it my own way! Here's a listing of some potentially livable vehicle
platforms, "blank canvases on wheels" (would that be "canvi"?),
and some pros and cons to consider against your uses and needs. I figure a home
on wheels should be at least reasonably adept in the following areas:
1. Cheap to operate.
2. Easy to work on.
3. Dependable.
4. Comfortable to drive.
5. Highway-worthy.
6. Self contained.
7. Inconspicuous.
8. Comfortably livable inside.
9. Maneuverable.
10. Efficiently designed in & out.
I encourage you to consider an old vehicle,
pre-'80, pre-'75 if possible. You have to search for a clean one that is mechanically sound, and some
of the parts (exhaust crossover pipe, some suspension bushings, etc.) are
getting hard to find. But GENERALLY they're built of better materials (real
steel), more rugged, simple to
work on and cheap to buy and fix. PLUS in this age of ever-tightening emissions
testing, they are EXEMPTED. Fuel injection, anti-lock brakes, computer
controlled and power everything make a great, efficient package for a while, but
you don’t want to be the person that owns all that when it starts to wear out
and go haywire.
TIP: Whenever you're looking at a vehicle, keep in mind decent tires are your
first line if defense. Especially on vans & RVs, anything over five years
old is asking for trouble. Even if they have great tread and aren't dry-rotted
and cracking between the treads, look on the sidewall. There's a line of letters
and numbers starting with DOT. The numbers indicate the tire's age, by calendar
week (like 13 for the 13th week) and then the year of manufacture. Check that
out when buying used tires too.
Here are the experiences and observations
of myself and those I've spoken to....
CARS: I have two words for you:
"Tight", and “Tight.” It's been done in everything
from old Impala station wagons to Volkswagen bugs where a piece of plywood makes
an elevated shelf/bed from the back to where the passenger seat once was, with
storage underneath. Travel "clean" (always a good plan anyway), 'cuz
every time you're seen sleeping in a car, you'll get harassed and possibly
searched. Have your story straight. Remember that most people see this as
"suspicious behavior" even if we don't.
PICKUP CAMPERS: Though
there are many well laid-out factory built campers that slide into the bed of a
pickup truck, there's nothing to build, so naturally they're not a consideration
for our purposes. Besides, there's no walk-through access and the high center of
gravity makes the whole thing handle like poop. A thought, however, is to build
your own "gypsy wagon" type camper thing on the back / in the bed.
This could be really cool for a single outdoorsy-type.
I'd like to do one of these covered in rough Cedar log halves screwed `n
glued to the side and small stained glass windows, on a `50s Ford or something,
with a later drivetrain. I've seen these built with removable curved canvas
tops, like a covered wagon. Park under the stars!
MOTORHOMES: This will be a brief one....they're already
designed, already built, already equipped, and they're already "finished
out" with the manufacturer's sense of style. This can be a positive or a
negative, and since it's safe to assume you're reading this book as we
speak, I'll assume you'd rather design it your way, or at least pick up
an older unit with a trashed interior and re-do it. I'd recommend a mid-to-late
'70s class "C" ("mini" motorhome) on a van cab/chassis.
These can be found in fair shape for a few thousand or less, and generally
speaking will have half the mileage of a similarly aged "every
day" car or light truck. This is good. But more often than not,
after fifteen or twenty years' exposure they turn into delaminating, leaky
shells with rotted wood under the floors and in the walls, buckled ceilings, and
cabinetry, trim, and upholstery that started disintegrating just out of warranty
twelve years ago. This is not good; look carefully. Check inside the
overhead cabinetry for water damage, and don’t assume everything works unless
you can try it. Motorhomes are classic “it worked last time I used it” and
“as far as I know” so try before you buy or offer accordingly.
BUILDABLE VEHICLES
MINI-VANS:
(Dodge Caravans, Plymouth Voyagers, Ford
Aerostars, Chevy Astros, etc.)
If I saw this as the answer, I would
realize there isn't a lot of room, towing capacity, or weight capacity and be
willing to spend most of my time outdoors. A vehicle like this will be a
well-equipped bedroom for one, with room for a couch long-ways, a sink setup, a
Porta-Potti and limited storage. But it'll go just about anywhere and could be a
real efficient package. I'd go for an '80s Caravan or Voyager with a carbureted
2.2L 4cyl, specially built for more torque and horsepower, with an automatic and
the trailer-towing pkg. or equivalent suspension-beefing modifications. The
parts (from engines to transmissions to wheels) are swappable with almost any
other mid '80s Chrysler, Dodge and Plymouth front-drive ("K" car
platform) vehicle, and except for fuel injection systems and the computer stuff,
these are easy cars to work on. Watch out for the head gaskets on high-mileage
2.2s, especially the turbocharged versions. Toyota made a mini-van (Nissan did
as well) but its mid-engine layout will wreak havoc with any kind of livable
floorplan. The rear-engine VW "bus" has been a mainstay of freaks and
wanderers for decades. They're slow, not real happy with highway cross winds,
and need tinkering on a regular basis, but can be cheap to buy, cheap to
operate, and cheap to fix. Drive a few first, though.
FULL-SIZE VANS:
Negatives
A van is tight but it still pays to lay it
out so you can kick open the doors and sprawl out. Having a fully functional
motor home inside a plain looking cargo van is truly the best of both worlds. Of
course, being small statured helps. For me, what is lacking in headroom is made
up for in clearance while driving; no problems with branches, bridges or drive-throughs.
Plus the majority of the time is not spent in a standing position anyways. It
can be done with a few limitations and a lot of thought, with either moveable /
removable fixtures or built-ins. Moveable stuff is great and very
adaptable. For example, a milk crate with a padded board on top can be a seat,
storage, footrest, or flip the padded side down and you have a small table if
you're sitting on the floor. Ready to roll? Strap it into a corner with a bungee
cord. Stuff like this is great if you like or need to be able to get your van to
a fairly empty state and haul stuff.
For simplicity and reliability, a
mid-to-late '70s van with a straight six is unbeatable. It’s life in the slow
lane, but that’s not all bad. Spirit Of The Wind is an '88 Dodge Ram
250 ¾-ton
extended cargo van with a fuel-injected 360 V8, auto trans with a lock-up
converter and 2.9 rear end gears. This is a truly magical combo, able to climb
any hill at highway speed and merge into any traffic at full speed by the end of
an onramp. It cruises at 75 and gets 15 mpg on the highway, and can get 16 at a
steady 65. But for anything other than belts, hoses and rubber fuel line, you
have to have a zillion dollars in state-of-the-art gear to fix it. So go one way
or the other... slow, thirsty and low tech is the way over the middle ground,
mid '80s stuff, especially now that it’s all 15-20 years old. Technology
rarely ages gracefully. I love this machine, but my next van was a 1972.
Chevy/GMC, Dodge, Ford... they're all good, especially the Ford Econoline from
`75 on with its extended hood, full frame, and fantastic 300 cubic-inch six, the
epitome of overbuilt simple reliability. It helps to know the quirks of the
designs - Fords have ignition control modules that go on a regular basis (the
finned gray box on the fenderwell - easy to fix), and leaky rear main seals on
the 351 V8s (an oil seal between the engine and transmission - NOT easy to fix).
Check front suspension condition (ball joints on any Dodge, look for uneven tire
wear on a Ford). The 225 slant six Dodge engine is another work of wonder, a
simple and reliable and virtually indestructible piece. But it's a sackless
wonder, without a lot of power to spare. Keep this in mind if you're thinking
about the full built-in interior, as you could be adding 1000 pounds to this
thing! On `69 through `73 Fords, watch for rot on the frame rail by the steering
box, and at the radius arm brackets. Dodges look for rot around the rear leaf
spring mounts. Dodge 318 and 360 V8s are notorious for warped passenger side
exhaust manifolds. Evidently, these aren't cast real thick and after they get
taken off and put back on, they warp. So that ticking the guy selling it says is
a "donut" gasket could actually be the manifold. And on later ones,
watch out for sticking exhaust recirculation flapper valves (same manifold).
These can be taken out and welded by a compotent cast-iron welder for around a
hundred bucks. And look for stress cracked sway bar mounts in the front, too.
Fairly easy fix, but know what you’re looking at. If it looks like crap,
drives like crap, and smells like crap, blowing smoke all over as it barely
runs... it’s crap! Old vehicles have fewer parts but they're harder to find. I
think I got the last new-old-stock (NOS) `69-'73 Ford Econoline V8 exhaust
crossover pipe in all of New
England in 2000.
More advice on vans....
*Go with a three-quarter ton.
The heavier-duty springs and brakes and bearings are all nice to have and will
help your rig's stability, ride, handling, braking, and safety margin long after
you've built in “home!” Start with something that sits high in the back.
*Go for swing-open side doors.
I've had problems with every side sliding door I've ever owned. They suck,
and they interfere with fender flares. You can make swing-out side doors into a
shower with a curtain and a hula-hoop, a dressing room when camping, mount
fold-up tables to them for cooking out, or just have some privacy peeing by the
side of the road. An authority figure spots you taking a leak in public, urine
big trouble. (Sorry).
*A good-sized van is the rolling compromise
between size & efficiency, between comfort of driving and comfort of living.
All areas can be well thought out and maximized according to your needs, but it
will not be fantastic in every area. Compromises include no full bathroom and
lack of headroom. You might be able to rig up a sit-down shower though, with the
tank up top on a rack and a small tank underneath the floor.
*Avoid "big block" engines!
(any V8 bigger than a 350 or 360). A van does not need engines this size unless
you're towing a big trailer through the mountains in a hurry. They'll suck
you dry in gas!! As for maintenance, man, it's wall to wall engine
in there. Many smaller, simpler rigs don't even need a V8 for adequate hill
power.
*Watch
the rim size.
This
goes for 1-ton vans, cube vans, and step vans as well. 16.5" rims are very
hard to find used tires for and very expensive to re-shoe new. They were phased
out years ago in favor of 16" rims. There is also some dispute over
refitting mid ‘70s and earlier bias-ply tire type rims with radial tires. I've
had no problems so far, but be aware of the choices and options. Factor in later
rims or expensive tires when you buy an old truck with 16.5" rims.
Also
note I mention more about Dodges and Fords, since that’s where my experience
is. I had a ’78 Chevy with a 292 six; great motor, but this individual van
wasn’t all that great... and I was young & stupid once.
From the journal:
"With thought and restraint it's possible to build
in a well equipped, efficient, comfortably open living environment while still
having plenty of entrance/exit area and not having stuff blocking the view and
access from all the doors! You may prefer to back up to your views in which case
a lengthwise arrangement can provide total access from the rear (also nice if
you'll be hauling lumber, etc.). This is probably the way to go if you're much
taller than five seven or so anyway, since a van is only around five six wide
where a side-to-side bed would go. If you prefer the view out the side door(s),
the long layout works well here, too. Put the sink, fridge & stuff against
the back doors and the couch against the wall behind the driver's seat (what I
refer to as "tour bus style") to take in the sights. This will also
give you easy access through the back doors to the systems' innards housed
within their cabinetry, such as the removable gray water tank under the
sink."
CUBE VANS: Also called "box trucks", which
brings to mind some huge thing you'd rent at U-Haul to move the
furnishings of a house. What I mean here is generally a ten to sixteen foot long
box on a van cab/chassis, six to seven feet wide and six to seven feet tall
inside. Some have dual wheels, some are heavier-duty than others, but most all
have incredible potential. The big 20 footers and up are on chassis similar to
school buses... for me at least, the extra space isn't worth the amount of extra
"truck" you have to deal with.
Positives:
This is the answer for me,
personally. Since you'll be rebuilding the back door area anyway, (that is, if a
roll-up back wall that disappears into your ceiling isn't your thing), a metal
bulkhead sealed from the inside but open to the outside could be built-in to
house a portable propane tank carefully, and vents and access doors for stove,
sink, A/C, furnace, etc., all could be built into the back wall. Or, build in a
motorhome door. Heck, it's a big box and all the walls are straight... do
whatever you feel like with it, the possibilities are endless. My dream rig
would start out as a 16 foot box on a late '70s Ford chassis. I'd build up a
specially modified 300 cubic-inch straight six (for torque and efficiency with
an RV camshaft, 2-barrel carb [they came with single-barrel] and an exhaust
header) with no a/c, hook it to a rebuilt for heavy use AOD automatic with
overdrive, have a 4:1 geared 9" rear (would help the six around town; the
4th speed in the overdrive tranny would bring this down to around 3:1 for
highway cruising) with dual rear wheels (for stability), (note: this is true,
however it would take its toll on the gas mileage and increased road tolls),
rebuild the front end, big front & rear sway bars, lower the whole thing
2" and install an air dam under the front bumper (for better aerodynamics,
which = better gas mileage).
I bet with a low, 6' tall box and some fine
tuning, a rig like this could cruise at 65 and give 17 miles to the gallon. With
just a rebuilt C4 three-speed automatic, 3.5:1 rear, and only external
engine mods, I still bet it would be comfortable at 55 and give 15,
though it would be slightly underpowered with a full built-in interior. (note:
Blue Moon, a `72 Ford with a 12' long box and no duals, stands 8' high and has
hit 15 mpg on level ground at 55 with a 302 V8, C6 3-speed auto and 3.73 gears.)
Four speeds would use the engine's limited horsepower better both off the
line and up long hills than three, which is why I'd swap in the AOD
overdrive automatic in place of the C4 or C6 three-speed it came with. If you've
read this far, you know I don't consider a manual trans to be an option
despite the gas mileage improvement; I want to drive the vehicle, not row it.
But you might, so plan your drivetrain accordingly with respect to engine and
rear gear ratios. As for the home part... we'll tackle that shortly.
And get ready to start wrenching on your own ride, since vehicles this size and
bigger don’t just fit in the corner mechanic’s garage. Due to their size and
weight, lifts may not be able to accommodate them. So belts, hoses, fuel lines,
starter... you need to be able to diagnose & fix these simple surface items.
It’ll serve you well on the road, too.
STEP VANS: Yep,
the good ol' bread delivery trucks. I'd say UPS trucks, too, but they won't sell
those to the public. Probably scared some freak will get a hold of one, paint it
like bad trip vomit and go follow Phish. Actually it’s a liability issue, as
UPS has these trucks designed and built specifically for them (notice the lack
of any manufacturer’s markings), and they use them until they can’t be
rebuilt anymore, then they shred them. Oh well, we’ll stick with the bakery
trucks! Generally big-to-huge aluminum boxes on wheels, the smaller mounted on
van & pickup chassis and the bigger ones on diesel or gas powered heavy duty
pieces. Definite potential here, folks.
Negatives: Back door area needs rebuilding which,
like the cube van back, can be a positive or a negative depending on where your
head is at regarding a slide-up wall or the chance to build your own ideas into
the back end;
people want a small fortune for them, even in rough shape;
hard previous use
"I always have the desire to cram. I
would put as much necessary living stuff inside that you can, and put a canopy
outside and try to live outside if possible. For instance, an awning with a
screen room is nice; sleep outside if you want, you can cook outside, still
you're carrying all the things that you really need."
SCHOOL BUSES:
Positives: Can be bought cheap, even done up
This would be great for the nomad that moves seasonally and parks. Also, town
busybodies generally consider these to be eyesores, 'cuz they're really
ugly to folks who don't see the beauty in what they are. Some campgrounds
won’t let you in. These of course are campgrounds filled with yuppies and run
by doodoo-heads, so you don’t want to be there anyway! Pick your site and find
out before you get there if everything's cool. And don’t go down roads
you’re not sure of; turning around can be an underwear-endangering experience.
As of the beginning of 2002, I myself have begun converting a school bus to live
in. After moving this thing around a bit and crawling all over and under it, I
can tell you it is big; very, very big. Like, 8’ wide, 10’ tall, and 35’
long. It doesn’t maneuver half bad for something the size of a single-wide
mobile home, but when it hits the highway I’ll be sticking to the main roads.
It’s like docking an oil tanker. The air brake setup isn’t very complex,
just not something every Goodwrench Fred can fix. Does open up possibilities for
other uses while that compressor is running. Pressurize the water system? Fill
your tire? Power air tools? Hmmmm…. Be sure to research the powertrain
(engine/tranny) to make sure it can still be worked on/replaced as necessary.
Mine’s a 350, in every kind of Chevy out there since the early ‘70s. I
passed on an International for this reason. It was also a 35’ 10,000 pound
yellow turd! The Chevy ran & drove great.
Other than the sheer expense of the basic
platform (I've seen fair ones for $10K) and the "implied
respectability" in the eyes of campgrounds and the law, which may treat you
better than a converted school bus (again, some campgrounds won’t even let you
IN in a school bus… thanks all you laundry-hanging stoned freaks!), many of
the other pros and cons are similar. Hey, if you've got the scratch to build
yourself a tour bus, don't let me and my cube van, headband mentality discourage
you. Older GM city buses (Transits) and newer GM RTS buses are less expensive to
get into. A bus seller I know won’t touch the RTS because of all the safety
relays and glitches inherent in the design. “You know what an elephant is?
It’s a mouse built up to government standards. It stops and won’t move
because the back door sensor thinks its open? I haven’t got the patience for
all that... and the big ones, the only way to make ‘em cost effective is to
keep ‘em working. Parts for an Eagle are ridiculously expensive, but not for a
bus company that runs ‘em 200,000 miles a year.”
Avoid anything beat into heapdom. It costs a lot to tow and a
fortune to overhaul one of these things!
Leonard from Saugerties: "The big
one over there is an `84 MC9. More of those on the road through history than any
other bus manufactured. MCI stands for Motor Coach Industries. An American
company, built in the United States with all American components. Stainless
steel subframe, steel upper frame, stainless steel skin on the bottom, aluminum
and stainless upper." The motor is a diesel V8, pusher style (in the back).
"An 8V-71 made by GMC, it's a 2-cycle engine and it develops its torque at
a low RPM. One of these engines is good for probably 500,000 miles before it
needs a major overhaul. Anything over 5 ton you should seriously consider
diesel. Try to stay with a standard shift if you can, performs better and you
can control it better."
-Jack Kerouac, On The Road
Systems
SYSTEMS to consider are 110volt AC electric, 12volt DC electric,
propane and plumbing. Remember, this will be your home or home base, so there
could be needs such as a comfortable place to sleep, food storage,
refrigeration, heat, cooking gear, air conditioning, toilet, lights, etc. Some
of these will be compromised in certain aspects due to interior height/space
limitations and the fact that hopefully, you'll be more mobile than stationary.
A great source for parts and components of systems is to buy a cheap trailer and
gut it. You'll have more stuff than you know what to do with, complete systems,
a bunch of the little pieces and couplings, and can sell the rolling shell to
someone for use on their hunting lease or storage or whatever.
POWER SOURCES are needed for true self sufficiency. Unfortunately, at this time solar is not an option due to it's staggering cost and unpredictable reliability. I've taken some heat for this stance, but for someone who DRIVES their rolling home a lot and doesn't consider thousands spent in the pursuit of "free power" to be worthwhile, it isn't going to happen. For our purposes, a solar trickle charger for the battery/batteries is about as far as we can go down that road. That, and “passive solar” like parking windshield into the sun on cold mornings. MAYBE some bigger panels and an inverter could run something. I’ve seen it done, but it’s simply not cost effective per watt. By the way, in hot, sunny climates, coat the roof with thick white rubberized roof coating used on mobile homes. I've heard of estimated reductions in roof temperature of 30 degrees. This will make you and all of your systems a bit more efficient! (Update: Just put a thick coat of Kool-Seal on the bus roof. What a difference! When you can’t even touch the yellow part, you can lay your hand fully on the white coated part. Unreal. Two good coats of this and I bet we’re talking even up to 40-50 degrees difference in surface temperature. A 5-gallon bucket will cost around $50 to $60 and give you two coats put on by a roller.)
120
"AC"
is cool because it'll power anything you could normally have in a house....but
only if you've got a long extension cord and a friendly outlet to plug in to for
a while. A portable gasoline powered generator can be a bit of a help, as one
with enough output could power a small A/C unit, a microwave, or several small
appliances and still be small enough to carry on board if you'll be using it
regularly. But they're noisy and take up valuable storage space to carry, so
there's the trade-off. (There are “Gensets”, generator systems designed
specifically to be mounted in an RV, and they are much quieter but much more
expensive.) I'd mount a power strip and carry a 50' heavy duty extension cord
aboard to plug in. This is a great way to power a ceramic heater or a small air
conditioner mounted out the back door window area. I have come to loathe
roof-mounted A/C units. They leak, make your roof sag and take a beating from
low branches. Big $$$, too. Converters of bigger vehicles or ones that are
designed to be mostly stationary generally wire in a whole 110 system with
circuit breakers, main shutoff and installed outlets around the interior of the
bus/truck. My bus will have this, outlets on the exterior, and one plug-in for
the “shore power” (what they call it on boats) cable I’ll keep rolled up
in a storage compartment. This’ll be the “umbilical cord” to plug in all
at once at a campground or friendly driveway. Do it close to code, folks! As for
what to expect out of an air conditioning unit, remember that you're living in a
metal box and it will get hot.
Allan: "Don't buy one rated for a 200 square foot room, you'll get a
5000BTU and that's not enough (for a bus). You've got thin walls and heat
penetration and there's nothing you can do about it. Get one rated for a kitchen
of that size, because you'll be fighting kitcken-like heat."
I’m currently running a 10,000 BTU Whirlpool, and with a fan it has kept the
interior of the bus comfortable on sunny days up into the 80s. We’ll see when
the 100 degree month of August hits. By then, perhaps I’ll have the pole-barn
shed roof I’ll be parking the bus under done and it’ll be in perpetual
shade. I bet it’ll be okay..
12 VOLT "DC"
is the answer for much of the electrical needs because it's what all the
electrical stuff in the vehicle itself operates on, as generated by the
vehicle's very own alternator! This is how it's done in motorhomes; the van has
its battery for starting, etc., and then there is what is called the
"house" system....a battery (or two) that gets charged off the
alternator but only powers the interior lights, radios, fans, and accessories.
It's generally a "marine" battery which is designed to withstand
extreme cycles of draining and charging. There are isolator kits available to
hook up a system like this and it's highly recommended so there's no worrying
about draining the main van battery when parked for a few days in a state park
or something, and just hangin' out. (Allen in San Marcos: "My battery
pack of choice would be four 6-volt batteries hooked in series/parallel for a
real deep 12-volt power cell.")
For vans with basic carpeted interiors and
not a lot of built-ins like seats and cabinets and beds, (what they would have
called a "surfer van" in the '70s), the house battery can be located
in the engine compartment opposite where the van battery already sits, if there
is room, or under the passenger seat. For those with these fixtures, it
can be hidden beneath them in a "battery box" and vented to the
outside. (This is important! Battery gases can build up if not vented. This
could ruin your whole day. It's generally not a good idea to smoke around
batteries because it sucks so badly when they explode.)
PROPANE is another important key to
self-containment. It's cheap, portable, and very efficient as a fuel for heating
and cooking, the two things that can drain your electrical supply so fast you
wouldn't believe it! Generally a tank is mounted under the chassis and plumbed
in to the stovetop and/or the furnace. It's easy to use the stuff, too. I would
definitely, however, have anything having to do with something as potentially
dangerous as propane professionally installed & explained. I'm not even
going into it here because I don't have that kind of experience with it.
Allan:"I have two 40-pound bottles on the back. I run a 6-gallon water
heater, my stove, my refrigerator is hooked up to it but we're using the
electric. I think the flame on the bottom of the heating chamber is something
that tears up an evaporative cooler and cause early failure on your
refrigerator, so I'd only use it if I was on the road. Propane is heavy, so I've
drilled some holes in my containers (that hold the bottles) so if it leaks out
into a sealed container it has somewhere to fall out. Just like with any gas,
you don't want to contain it too tightly. All my piping is high pressure
flexible hose encased in PVC pipe." He also has shutoffs by the tanks,
under the bus, and in the bus.
PLUMBING is what separates
"camping" from "living in a camper". In a house there's the
sink, shower and the toilet, which boaters call a "head", and which
still makes me giggle. (This could speak more about my assinine sense of humor
than anything else, though.) But I can't just call it a "toilet", and
believe me, nothing on wheels will be comfortable enough in this area to
consider referring to as "the throne", so we'll just call it "the
can". For these, you'll need storage for fresh water, "gray"
water (from sink, shower), and "black" water (from "the
can"). You need to decide whether you want a pressurized water system with
a water pump or just a hand pump sink. "Can"-wise, it's either the
pressurized "demand" system or you'll be living with a camping toilet,
which isn't so bad. (I’m exploring gravity water systems where I’ll be
stationary, and I’ve seen smaller gravity systems where the tanks are mounted
in a rack on the roof). See, in a camper, your....uh....unwanted matter
doesn't just disappear once you flush. How offal. (Sorry). Sooner or
later, the black water tank will need to be emptied. The contents are chemically
neutralized by stuff that gets regularly poured down the fixture itself.
What it comes down to is that to be independent and somewhat free, you need to
be more self-contained. And if we’re self contained, we understand that we
don’t live a flick-a-switch-and-something-happens lifestyle. We’re
responsible for our systems, what they bring in, and what they flush out. We
have to find the water to fill the tanks, and we have to deal with what ends up
in our waste holding tanks. For me, the choice in how to deal with the
by-products of our human container was either (A) Deal with it in small,
descrete, manageable portions every week (portable camping toilet with
detachable holding tank that can be walked into any rest area stall and poured
out), or (B) Deal with it in much larger amounts once a month or so (built-in
toilet & holding tanks mounted to the vehicle, where you pull into
campground dump stations, get the dump hoses out & hit the dump valve,
hopefully you have it arranged so the gray water tank flushes through the black
water tank to rinse it out as they’re emptied). I’ll take A, thanks. Either
way, you will have to deal with it or get really good at stopping and asking
“Hey Mac - where’s the can?”
Regardless, we DO NOT DUMP THIS out anywhere but approved facilities for motor
homes! Vehicle-dwellers have enough of an image problem as it is without leaving
lakes of doodie in parking lots. It's just one more example of HOW PEOPLE
WHO ARE DICKS SPOIL IT FOR THE REST and of why we're not welcome some places.
People like that should just stay home. Anyway, you won't have to deal with the
purchase price or installation/space hassles of a built-in "can" if
you go with a Porta-Potti. Just detatch the base, waltz into a rest area late at
night and pour out the chemically-treated shtuff into their
"can" and flush. Done. They don't take up much space, can be secured
anywhere, and there's no black water holding tank to worry about As far as sinks
go, get a big, deep double sink. You can use it as storage while driving, and it
makes washing dishes much easier. Build a plywood cover, too, so it can be used
as counter space when it’s not a being used as a sink.
Allan: "Put the bathroom and the
shower in the same place; what you want for wet walls are fiberglass sheets.
They're about 25 bucks a sheet, you glue them up and seal the edges. No
screws." The last time I had seen his bus, he was going to pressurize
the water system off of the same apparatus already in place for the air brake
system. "But it never went anywhere. Its still down there, the water
tank is still under the bus, its unused `cause I'm on a water system. I've heard
of it being done, it looks like its very feasible, using a combination of air
pressure switching and water pressure switching. I just haven't had a chance to
use it." (Allan's bus is stationary for now).
HEATING Personally, I have yet to build a
heating system into a vehicle. For cold weather camping, I crank the vehicle
heater all the way there, and carry
lots of blankets, a sleeping bag & comforter. For a bigger home, either a
small wood stove, legs welded to an angle-iron frame securely bolted through the
floor or some trpe of AC hookup ceramic space heater would be my bet. A nice,
warm companion doesn't hurt, either.
Allan:"There's a little heater down
there in the corner, I took the thermostat out of it and ran it up here so we
could operate it remotely. That little heater will heat the bathroom and this
whole back area (bedroom) as well. That's all AC (110); the only thing DC
(12-volt) in here are some of the lights. Wood stove, heats the whole place, no
problem. It's plenty for the place; first of all, in a bus, you don't need a
really hot fire.We're finding that the smaller the fire we build, it just takes
a little while to catch up. We run ourselves out of here regularly, wind up
opening the roof vent to let the heat out. The place will hold the heat, and
that thing being made of cast iron, it keeps belting out heat long after the
fire has died down. I'll never live without one."
For most of my initial accessories (lights,
fan, stereo,etc.) in the vans, I wired them directly to the existing fuse box.
When the wiring I tapped into wasn't working out and caused a blackout of my
overhead lighting, (electrical wiring - especially the self-wired kind - can be
that way. If Saturn isn't in line with Jupiter and the North-South orientation
is off kilter, electrical current in certain vehicles, usually mine, ceases to
flow. This, in turn, causes a severe maladjustment of Uranus, since it's
such a big pain in the ass), I bypassed the existing wiring inside and just ran
a wire from the fuse box to a single "aircraft" style light right by
the couch. I like it better....one switch, perfect amount of light. The positive
gets run through the walls and under the dash, it's stripped end hooked under
the end of a fuse that works constantly and not just when the ignition is on
(brake lights, etc.). I like to hook my stereo and CB up to similar fuses. This
way they can be used when the vehicle is not running. They don't draw much
either....I've parked for two days with my stereo on and still started up with
no problems. The negative gets grounded to a small sheetmetal screw about three
inches south of the light, and this whole enlightening process is completed.
Most accessories are hooked up like this; sometimes there are empty fuse slots
to use. In more thoroughly designed vehicles than mine, all accessories would be
wired into their own fuse block off of the house battery. Blue Moon, the ’72
cube van, had a complete house system, including isolator, Marine battery, fuse
block and 12v outlets. It's much better! Sir Bustopher the school bus will have
a similar 12-volt system, just bigger.
So,
are you confused yet as to all these vehicles I’m referring to? Let’s pare
it down to three: Spirit Of The Wind, an ‘88 Dodge 3/4-ton extended van, fuel
injected 360 V8, automatic, no windows side or back, 2.9 rear gears. Cruising
speed: 70; averaged 16 mpg. Blue Moon, a ‘72 Ford cube van (Ford called this a
“Parcel van”) on a 1-ton Econoline 300 chassis, 12’ box, 302 V8, 2-barrel
carb, C6 automatic, 3.73 Dana rear (not duals). Cruising speed: 55; averaged 13
mpg. AND last but certainly not least, Sir Bustopher Schoolbus, 1980 Chevy
71-passenger school bus on a GMC6000 chassis, 350 V8, 2-barrel carb, 5-speed
tranny, est. weight 18,000 lbs. Cruising speed: Haven’t done any long trips
yet. Probably 55-60. MPG? That’s a good one. Probably around 7. So now you
know when I say “Spirit”, “Blue” or “Sir Bustopher”, what I mean.
Build-Out
Oh
yeah, the good part....the interior! Your chance to build the ultimate living
room on wheels. Some may outfit it as a rolling art studio, acoustic music jam
room, communications base with shortwave and/or ham radio gear, photography lab,
recording studio, pirate radio station, anything you want. Your ultimate play
room. What I'll attempt to do here is outline some of the "systems"
you may want on board, and give you some ideas about layouts both spartan and
loaded. Most of my experience is with vans, so I'll be basing this info around
the various van platforms. Trucks and buses are similar in theory; they're just
bigger boxes to build more stuff into, and need bigger systems.
FLOORING:
Blue Moon has the truck's metal floor with 1" green foam insulating
sheets cut to cover it, then 1/2" plywood over that secured with a small
number of long screws through the floor. (Careful!) This is covered with foam
carpet padding and remnant carpeting and a 6x8' area rug with an Eagle motif cut
to fit around the cabinetry. It dampened a lot of road noise and is nice to walk
or sleep on.
Sir Bustopher has Celotex foam panel insulation and 3/4” OSB, or Oriented
Strand Board. It’s stronger AND cheaper than plywood, and more moisture
resistant to boot. Over this will go padding and carpet (in the living room
area), tile (underneath where the wood stove will go 3 months out of the year,
piped out the window area now housing an A/C unit), and random length 1x4s,
stained and sealed. El-cheapo “hardwood floor.” I left the rubber matting in
place, and sealed the seat mounting screw holes with the screws themselves
(without the nuts underneath) glopped with caulking. Then the Celotex, then the
OSB.
The seats in a school bus come out fairly easy with some WD-40, a socket &
ratchet wrench, breaker bar (just a piece of pipe to slip over the end of the
ratchet to multiply your leverage for the stubborn bolts) and someone underneath
the bus floor wedging a hand wrench over the nut and up against one of the
support rails. Of course, this is all relative; “your mileage may vary.” My
bus had been in Alabama and central Texas its whole life, so there isn’t any
real rust. I doused all the bolts (inside) and nuts (underneath) with WD the day
before, and most came out without too much trouble.
Allan in San Marcos:
What I did was yank all the seats out, buzzed (air-powered hand held wire
brush) the entire floor clean,sanded... I mean, I spent a week on it. There were
all kinds of pockmarks `cause it was a used school bus, anywhere where water
could be entrapped under the little floor pads and stuff, there was rust. So I
buzzed all that out, and painted it heavily with oil based paint. I put carpet
padding on top of the floor and carpet on top of that. The padding is great; the
only thing about the padding is, you've got a metal floor, the padding will try
to hold water. It won't evaporate. So every now and then, its a good idea by
your windows, by your doors, to lift up the carpet and see if its wet. If it is,
you've got to do something about stopping whatever is leaking and let it dry
out."
WINDOWS:
Myself,
I prefer as few windows as possible, spending lots of time in public areas. If
I'm camping, I'll open the doors. As this bus isn’t the main road tripper, I
left many of the windows intact. The ones I covered over inside were first spray
painted (ONLY on the inside!) with several coats of flat white. Looks ghastly
from inside, but it’ll be covered. Outside the windows look great. I then
caulked around the edges both inside and out for water sealing, cut pieces of
insulation to fit over the windows inside, and put my interior plywood over
that. So many people cover over the windows on the outside with sheet metal and
install RV windows. That’s cool and can look great, but I want my bus to look
like a school bus; no matter WHAT you do to it, it’s still going to be a
SCHOOL BUS so Bustopher embraces that. The “whited-out” windows, again, look
great from the outside, and aid in reflecting heat. Black would have looked
great, but “functionality first” dictates we use
white and accomplish two things at the same time.
WALLS/ROOF/CEILING:
Blue’s walls and roof are covered in the same green foam sheet as the
floor, and it has the same effect. I like this stuff so much better than
fiberglass house insulation, just cut it with an exacto knife, snap it, and put
up. But it is flammable, so keep that in mind and be careful. Housetrucks aren't
known for their flame-retardant qualities; they're beautiful with lots of wood
and such (plus you cannot use drywall in a moving vehicle, though I have seen it
attempted on a Transit conversion in Missouri. 6K miles and it was cracking
severely), basically being a long skinny house it should look and feel
home-like. But lay out your electrical and propane with smarts and don't block
your emergency exit! I screwed 1/4" plywood to the ribs and covered that
with purple shag carpeting and salvaged paneling & trim. Pre-drill every
hole and don't build with nails; I used drywall screws and glue and this thing
is SOLID. The road will tear up an interior built of fragile materials held
together by nails. AGAIN: Screw & glue, using pilot drilled holes. Bustopher’s
walls are much the same; foam insulation and plywood. The bus roof is already
somewhat insulated and will be covered in two thick coats of white roof coating,
and half covered with an observation deck, in addition to being parked in
perpetual shade when at the home base. It should be ok.
Allan:"I used two sandwiched sheets
of 3/4" foam panels in the cavities between the bus roof frame. Then to the
frame is screwed in 1x2 strips which hold the ceiling wood. Don't try to do too
perfect of a job; the wood in your bus will expand and contract, and believe it
or not, your BUS will shrink about 1/8" in the Wintertime. So if you go
right up against things and butt `em up, you are in deep doo-doo."
Always put "road bars" across the front of your shelving, to keep
things on their shelves while going down the road. One 1x2 about a quarter of
the way up has worked for me. Mount marine cleat-type nylon fasteners (they wrap
rigging around these on boats) everywhere, so you can bungee cord things down
and against the walls for travel. I framed out my built-ins with 1x2s and
overbuilt every step of the way. Then I covered this with salvaged paneling and
thin sheets of plywood.Countertops are plywood (sink area) and 3/4"
void-free birch ply for the other counter.
Install hasp latches on every door and drawer, including refrigerator.
Bustopher is framed out with 1x2, 2x2, and 3/8” plywood (overhead cabinets)
and 2x4 and 1/2” plywood (counter framing). Countertops are 3/4” “Smooth
on one side” plywood, stained and polyurethaned. House counters are 36”
high, and though in smaller housetrucks everything is sort of scaled down
slightly, I did put the main kitchen counter at 22” deep and 36” high, with
a full-size double sink I scrounged about 10 years ago. (Avocado green! Yes!!)
The other counter across from it is lower, about 32”, and 16” deep. The
overhead cabinets are 19” deep over the couches, 16” deep over the counters,
and 12” deep over the bed, so nobody bonks their head. Take advantage of every
opportunity to build in little storage areas. There is never enough storage!
Allen on his countertops: "Three quarter inch plywood, no stain, just
polyurethaned. Three coats. And I bordered it (slightly raised trim around the
top surface, sealed with a silicone bead) because I lived on a boat, and I found
out that it's very important, especially on something that moves, have bordering
around your tabletops so when something spills it is contained and doesn't run
off onto the floor."
Beyond the basic design, there's really no
way I can go much deeper in depth with this. I have no idea what you will be
needing to build and to cover everything would be defeating the purpose of this
all. Read a book on basic carpentry, get a hold of some power tools and adapt
what you know to the task at hand. Grow as you go. Measure twice and cut once;
design it over and over so you only have to build it once; again, use screws and
glues; enjoy the process. It's basic carpentry stuff scaled down in structure.
Leonard: "Choose a vehicle that
you're familiar with, that you can get service on, and try to keep it as simple
as you can. Use components that are easily replaceable, place your utilities in
a manner that they can be serviced. Take your time, think it out; because
everybody gets in a hurry and becomes very spontaneous... and that's a
mistake."
"A ton of room, hot running water,
stove, and a shower would be grand, but a vehicle they'd fit into is too big for
my purposes right now. I think one at least should have running water, a house
battery, and an ice box for full time living. This still leaves a lot of
improvising, but is a good start for van life. I've traveled in motor homes and
I've traveled in vans done up like furry living rooms, and there are positives
and negatives on both
sides. A battery, an inverter (turns 12volt DC into 110volt AC for light-duty
plug-ins), and a hot plate....there you go! No lap of luxury, but well equipped
for a hobo." (Note: there are also converters which turn 110 into 12volt to
power the van's built-ins when "hooked up" to a friendly outlet.)
"My vans rarely haul anything more
than a couple of guitars and an amplifier, though a couple of the V8 ones hauled
ass, too. The empty ones are the most versatile and you can still sprawl out on
the carpeted, padded floor or sit against the carpeted, padded wall and stare at
the carpeted, padded ceiling. I am, however, a sucker for a built-in interior.
Something with the efficiency of the VW Camper and the coolness of a tricked-out
customized van. The thing to remember with built-ins is how little wall space
you have to begin with. So if you're like me and think a van and a parking spot
with a view were made for each other, pick a layout that works for you 'cuz
inevitably if you build in a sink / fridge / bed / closet / cooking area / couch
interior, you'll lose the easy access and wide open-ness of either the side
doors, rear doors or both. Pro manufactured fully equipped motorhomes based on
stock van bodies almost always have a bathroom or the bed up against the back
doors and a stove, sink, or closet against the side door area. This usually
leaves (not counting the cab area) one door for entry and exit."
"A built-in bed over the wheelwells,
as cool as it can be with blue fake fur and love beads, is a total waste of
space since we're shooting for a fair amount of practicality. The classic
"custom van" from the '70s had a bed in the back, which provided some
storage underneath and one heck of an impression for that first date. The sin
bin. The love shack. The rig with the "If the van's a-rockin', don't come
a-knockin'!" license plate frame. Go ahead and paint "Moving
Violation" on the sides just ahead of those heart-shaped porthole windows.
That's cool and all, but we're building a camper. Coolness is only second to
functionality, and that means a nice, subtle exterior and a useful, versatile
interior where everything serves two functions, like the inside of a boat. Hell,
even J.C. Whitney has dropped their line of smoked Plexiglas porthole windows.
(I know, I know....what's happening to this world, man? That was a severe blow
to all I hold sacred)."
"I recommend a convertible couch/bed,
probably the only good thing to come out of the mass-production, cookie-cutter
conversion van industry. An incredibly comfortable couch that folds out into a
rather pleasant bed for two. Or, if you're a lone rider, sleep on it as a couch.
I got mine by pulling it out of a wrecked conversion van, along with a box full
of interior lights and pieces. As a built-in, bolt it down to the floor. As a
removable piece, just set it down on a padded floor and strap it in. It weighs a
ton and won't go anywhere during normal maneuvering, including panic stops and
quick turns. But do realize that if you hit something, everything not bolted
down KEEPS MOVING towards the point of impact. If you happen to be in the way,
you'll be needing the mother of all aspirin sandwiches after getting smacked in
the back of the head by a flying couch. This will suck, I promise. The best of
both worlds is to bolt it down with hardware that can be unfastened for removal.
I love my couch!"
Equipment
& Accessories
It's amazing how much stuff you can pack into a living
space after being there for a month. You figure out stuff that is mounted can be
hung off of, little areas open themselves up as logical storage areas.
Everything finds its own place and uses me as their force to get there. It's a
natural nomadic gravitational alignment. NOG I call it- Nomadic
Object Gravity. The process by which, via the nomad, his trinkets seek out
suitable space and locate themselves within the vehicle. Can I generalize in the
masculine or did that just negate everything I have to say? Who knows - the
times are gettin’ stranger by the day.
Lifestyle
This
kind of lifestyle, especially as "bare" as in a van, is not for
everyone. And not just anyone can do it. If you don't like driving, suck at it
or simply cannot take the wheel without a few in you, are stuck in "high
gear", easily aggravated by minor problems or the lack of a concrete
schedule, or don't think you'll enjoy the Fall week in a state park as much as a
rainy night in a 24 hour supermarket parking lot, do us all a favor and stay
home. There's enough of an image problem already without a bunch of fools
perpetuating the stereotypes. This is what is bringing free society to its knees
for every group not in the majority these days, us included.
I
know there are others to whom stability is stagnation; movement (or at least the
ability to start up the home and move along) is truly living. I've met them in
my travels and during my stays in the rest areas, campsites, truck stops and
parking lots of our nation. Perhaps someday we can have a movement of our own,
and this movement can then become a force... the Back To The Road
movement! A free-spirited network of individuals and couples and groups sharing
their ideas and tips and tales concerning our chosen way of life. I'm talking
about DECENTRALIZATION (NOT ANARCHY!) and TRIBAL. Groups of like minded folks
who each make up a part of the whole, instead of one big queen ant and a bunch
of worker drones too busy working, pacified by complacency to realize
something's wrong. And that they’re not having much fun. This is not a dress
rehearsal! I was born helpless, naked and frightened... that’s not how I’m
going to live.
One of the few things I miss about a
"stationary" life (Hey....isn't that what the folks at Mead have?
Thank you, thank you very much) is having my own toilet. This could be remedied
with a bigger rig with built-in facilities, or just a camping toilet for that
matter. But I had neither, having basically bought a van and just moved on in.
So one part of the learning curve is learning where the best places are to leave
that special part of you behind every day (as well as where to shave, clean up
and brush teeth, etc.). So here are a few words of wisdom. THIS PART IS NOT FOR
THE SQUEAMISH BUT I ASSURE YOU THE INFORMATION WILL COME IN HANDY AT SOME POINT!
(Since I don't frequent ladies' rooms, I can only comment on men's rooms.
I'm not trying to be sexist or exclusive; it's just the way reality works
sometimes.) Here goes.
*TRUCK STOP
johns are a huge, stinking trade
off. While they're some of the best places on Earth lot and food-wise, some of
the folks who frequent them know or care nothing about hitting the bowl.
But they usually have outlets by the sinks and some of the most idiotic &
entertaining graffiti you'll find anywhere.
*SUPERMARKET bathrooms are usually clean
low-traffic areas. Outlets can be a problem, but generally mirrors aren't. They
rank low on the graffiti scale but it's more than made up for by the fact
that you'll more than likely be walking through an empty employee break room to
get there. Help yourself to some coffee, napkins, snacks, seasoning packets,
heck, just make yourself at home. Especially if it's a Star Market. Tell
'em a disgruntled former employee sent you...there isn't a room big enough for
THAT lineup.
*GAS STATIONS are a crap-shoot, so to speak. They range from decently
clean with a few useable amenities to what, if not for the once white porcelain
fixture, could be mistaken for a septage lagoon. And don't be lining the
crapper seat with paper; you're better off not getting your hands on or near any
surface at all if it's that bad.
*REST AREAS seem to be cleaner than average. Especially the
"Tourist Info" staffed kind that are almost guaranteed to be spotless.
But outlets and wall scrawlings are nowhere to be found.
*LIBRARIES are usually very clean, and
should be left that way. Not the place to be shaving and stuff, but a good
excuse to spend some time surrounded by peace, quiet, and books! Spend the day
there, but not necessarily on the crapper.
*INDIVIDUAL SHOPS AND SMALL BUSINESSES.
Don't
be a jackass and expect them to let you clog up their plumbing and endure
the seemingly endless waft of your stench without at least buying a bunch of
stuff first. And clean up after yourself, okay? Commandment #4!
*CONVENIENCE STORES
range from better than truck stops (clean-wise) to where the sludgy fixture is
the cleanest part of the room. Maybe it's part of some grand scheme to
discourage use of their facilities....I don't know. I never do anything more
than pee at these places, since I can't hold my breath any longer than that.
Amenities could be there, and they could not be. But this isn't the place to be
shaving or cleaning up or (gag) brushing your teeth anyway. Buy something and be
cool if the place is halfway decent. If not, let it waft. And for cripes sake,
look for the toilet paper before you sit down!!! Let us remember the
ancient proverb:
Here I sit in stinking vapor, wishing for some toilet paper.
Along with those in communal living
arrangements and basically anyone who deviates in lifestyle from what has been
sweepingly accepted as "the norm", we all share life on the fringes of
society. But here, outside of society's structure, it seems so much easier to
befriend the different, learn from the perspectives of the outsiders, lend a
hand to and get a hand from all the different colors and creeds and styles that
make humanity such a potentially beautiful mosaic. Maybe it's because as nomads
we generally shun having so many of the things most worry about getting taken
away from them, and consequently have few of the misdirected frustrations that
lead folks to misunderstand, use, hate and kill each other for stupid, stupid
reasons. We, perhaps someday, could even get past some of the issues that hang
up and divide us all in a stationary setting into groups of squabbling, catch
phrase using, stuck up, possessive, greedy, self-righteous imbeciles. Nice!
Maybe
we can learn something, if nothing else. The nomads I've met have been ready to
help with shared information or a helping hand. And all they've asked for from
me is that I help the next person and ask them to help the next. Call me naive,
but thinking like that could go a long way towards improving the situations in
the stationary, everyday, "normal" world we've somewhat divorced
ourselves from. Hey, this "My way or the highway" mentality of
society’s self-imposed segregations just ain't cuttin' it, and long ago I
decided to choose the highway rather than be coerced into wearing colors and
flying flags I couldn't believe in. It could be that though most have some kind
of home base, they don't let its walls and the preservation thereof become a
prison. I don't mean to be standing on a rubber-tire soapbox or anything here. I
just think the freedom of the road is great, even if it can be nothing more than
symbolic to some.
BE
NICE TO THE COPS WHEN THEY PULL YOU OVER. They're not ALL out to get you. In the
context of today and the way most people live, you are acting suspiciously.
The man checking the situation out goes around all the time in a blue uniform
many people see as a target. He is entitled to be a bit paranoid. Of course, you
have EVERY RIGHT to refuse when he politely asks to “Have a look around”.
This usually follows the question of “Do you have any drugs, weapons or
contraband?” which, if under ANY circumstances you say yes, you are dumbass
SQUARED. Ease his tension by rolling down your window, shutting off the motor
and putting your hands on the wheel. If you don't already have your seatbelt on
and all the necessary paperwork in order, up to date and in one spot, you have
violated commandment number 8. Travel clean, 'cuz to an officer (unless you and
your vehicle are the "respectable" looking types) you're a rolling
bust. As one said, "Grateful Dead stickers have been very good to me."
And the more doofi (plural of doofus) that get caught, the more time I spend by
the side of the road explaining why I look like I just hopped off a freight
train, have a vehicle with love beads and tapestries, and they're not finding
a thing. He's just doing his job, and if you do something stupid and get
caught you haven't done yours. Also remember the law is in his hands, but
occasionally that's not all, and it winds up in your pocket, or under
your seat, or in your ashtray. I cannot advise you about what to do in that
scenario, but I can tell you if you resist at all it gets very complicated. Be
curteous, but know your rights better than the average shmoe; be up on the laws
where you are. We're the smart ones, remember?
"All of the
‘normal’ daily-living kind of stuff gets done, it just gets done a little
differently from the back of a van. Shower at friends' houses or if you have the
cash, stay in a cheap motel as needed. "Holiday Inn shuttle bus. Any hotel
that has buses is too classy for me, I tell ya." The rest of the time just
sponge yourself down where you can to keep clean. If you're parked somewhere out
of the way when it rains, grab the swim trunks and stand outside. Invigorating!
Pack biodegradeable shampoo and lather up from the top down. When somewhere
with, say, a clean rest room with a mirror and outlet by the sink, gas pumps,
trash can, and ice for sale, the object is to efficiently get as many necessary
things done there as possible. Clean yourself up, clean the van up, get
supplies... whatever. Instead of thinking things like "Did I remember to
put the milk back in the fridge?" or "Should I leave the air
conditioner on while I'm out?", I think about
remembering to stock up on water (radiator and drinking) and interesting reading
material when I can, and making sure all is secure and in its place before
moving the van. I imagine it's not that different from living in a boat, a cabin
cruiser. I have found this to be good discipline, being chronically disorganized
as I am. It was a problem when I had too much stuff around to distract me and
other stuff to distract me from the distraction and so on. It seems easier to
pick up after myself now that I've created my own environment, hand picking the
items & distractions I brought aboard and surrounded myself with. It appears
that by living small and shrinking my needs there is now plenty of space in my
life for the things that are really important and worthy of my time, energy, and
thought."
"Living like this you narrow your load down to the essentials. As far as
clothes, one load's worth works for me. Two bucks washed and dried and enough
for about a week. Don't leave your clothes at the laundromat and go somewhere
else or your wearables might do the same. And if you only have one load of
clothes, that's a drag and a half. Should this happen or you want to augment
your wardrobe, yard sales, thrift shops and the nearest Salvation Army store are
a dollarly challenged style seeker's best bets. Nothing beats a well broken in
flannel shirt for a buck, you know? I keep my laundry detergent in a midsize
Tupperware container. The snap-on lid seals out the moisture. Also in the
container is a 35mm film canister filled with quarters. Laundromats are also a
great place to check the bulletin boards for jobs and stuff for sale."
The
Road
Most
of the time, no matter what vehicle you converted, you ONLY refer to it as a
“Motorhome” that you “Go camping in” when talking to the motor vehicle
department or insurance people. It’s not a BUS and OF COURSE you don’t live
in it! Either or both may need pictures or a visual inspection for sleeping,
running water, cooking, and/or bathroom facilities to retitle/register/insure it
as the motorhome it is and NOT the truck, commercial vehicle, or bus it USED TO
BE. If you do it right you’ll be able to get minimum liability coverage and
hit the road. Contents? Conversion costs? Don’t press your luck; you’re on
your own.
I have slept over-night in the following places, and by not being obvious,
have had no problems: 24hr. supermarket lots, truck stops, motel lots,
"big" rest areas, convenience store lots (ask permission while buying
something and park "for a few hours in an out of the way space"), and
small rest areas (though I have been bothered in these). And hey, there's no law
against painting "Joe's Floor Restoration" or "Martin Alarm
Installation" on the side of your truck. Would you bother a van parked in a
store lot with something like that on it? If you're asked, it's who you bought
the van from. When in rest areas, try not to line yourself directly with the
entrance. That way, if someone comes screamin' in blind after a six pack, you're
not in their path.
When covering ground I prefer to sleep
during the day (warmer, less conspicuous) and drive at night. (Note: this does
not work in the Summer in the South, where it is a hundred degrees during the
day.) Have also camped cheap in campgrounds. One was five bucks a night! I
seriously considered staying there for a couple of months. Big thick moving
blankets make excellent privacy curtains / heat barriers between the cab and
living area. Rig it so you can just clip it up; maybe screw clips to the surface
above the opening.
MISC. THOUGHTS
*If you'll be local for six months or so,
rent a PO box. It's a bit cramped, but you'll get used to it. Just kidding.
(What a dork). "Since it finally stopped raining, I'm gonna patch up
this hole in the floor. My boot heel went through it somewhere near
Dallas." That was an actual transcript, from about ‘90 in Shorty the
Ford! Keep a big piece of cardboard handy for situations like this, or to lay on
if you have to work under the truck, or to partially block off the grille
opening if your engine won't warm up in the cold weather, depriving you of heat.
It works, but know what you're doing and have a temp. guage and not just an
idiot light, a good idea anyway.
*Also, while traveling, have nothing embarrassing findable by search that you
can't explain convincingly.
*Dispose of your trash properly, in dumpsters and trash barrels. The road is
your home and the planet is someone else’s garden; respect.
*Protect yourself; carry mace or whatever. Alot of cops are reasonable and may
look the other way if you let them know you're just one soul out here alone
on the road and it's for self-defense purposes only. Don't be wearing
combat boots, camouflage and a wool ski mask and expect them to believe you. You
know what I'm saying? Don't call them "Dude" “Brohamm” or
“Buford”... and this just isn't the time or place to mention anything
having to do with pork products.
Always
a safe bet to give the van a once-over in the morning, make sure it's got plenty
of water, oil, tranny fluid (usually checked with the engine at operating temp.
at idle but when you are sure it's at the proper level, go out the next morning
and score a mark on the dipstick to show where the correct level is at
"cold" so you can check it first thing in the morning), and air in the
tires. Make sure there are no bottles near your tires or anything unusual going
on ON or AROUND the vehicle before you take off. So far the only troubles I've
had have been a leaky water pump gasket (which was taken care of by Aluma-Seal
stop leak), a leaky gas line (typical of soft rubber parts in the southern heat,
a section had begun to crack and split....a dollar's worth of rubber fuel line
and a couple of new hose clamps fixed it), and the previously mentioned interior
light gremlins. Get in the habit of keeping everything where it goes and secured
in the back, even when parked. This avoids cringe-inducing sounds from the back
as you drive that remind you you forgot to secure something. Like the cooler. Or
your books. Or the portable toilet.
Speaking of cringe-inducing sounds from the back, I would strongly
suggest having a little “stash o’cash” set aside for the occasional cheap
motel room. Sometimes one just needs a big square room with running water and a
flushing toilet for a couple of days to be sick in. A truck stop lot puts in a
close second, but when you feel like someone ate you and shit you off a cliff,
the walls of a vehicle close in mighty quick. Especially if you’re traveling
with someone else - the human body is a pretty cool ride on the whole, but it
can get kind of er, vocal, as well as pungently odiforous and down
right messy... and a van is just too small a place to subject another human
being to that.
TRUCKERS
ARE OUR GREATEST ALLIES, whether they know it or not. They're responsible for
the CB radio and reports thereon of driving conditions ahead, including
locations of “Smokeys” and the directions and wierd entertainment one can
get from "having your ears on". They are responsible for those fine
truck stops we stay at. DO NOT park in their way. DO NOT drive like an "Idjit"
around them. They pay more road related taxes and fees than you know about and
they take verbal excreta from their bosses, the companies they deal with,
and the media gullible ignorant general public. They don't need any from you!
These are folks that are known for commandment #1 and are some of the greatest
drivers I've ever had the pleasure of sharing the roads with, as opposed to
those who oppose them, who often drive like they have Optical Rectalitis,
the dreaded Cranial-Anal Inversion, or both afflictions simultaneously.
ROAD ETIQUETTE:
Blink your lights when the truck passing you is safely by, so he can get back
out of the fast lane. Try not to pass him on the right....get in the right lane,
pull back and blink your lights. After he moves over, pass on the left LIKE
YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO, there, Mario Andretti. If he wants in, let him over. Once
out of sight of a speed trap, flash your high beams quickly at oncoming traffic
to let them know there's something ahead. Other than that, keep your damn high
beams off of oncoming traffic! Leave that to the elderly "safe
drivers" who crawl along 15 mph under the speed limit with their high beams
on at dusk, turn signal a-blinkin'. If you are tired, you have no business
behind the wheel. It is a privilege, not a right. Don't drive like the drivers
that piss you off. Don't drink (toke, dose, snort, drop, shoot, etc.) and drive. Don't hog the fast
lane if your rig isn't comfortable at 75. Don't push it; we don't have
deadlines, remember? If someone flashes their high beams behind you, move over.
It's nothing personal, they just want to get by. If you stop for any reason on
any road, put your hazard blinkers on! Don't be an obstacle. In town in the
South, if a funeral procession is on the move, it is customary for oncoming
traffic to pull off to the side and stop until it has passed. It is NOT
customary to lean your face out the window and shout "If you'da cremated
the somebitch, I'd be home by now!" If you come across an accident
scene where everyone else is passing, (The old "I don't want to get
involved" cop-out), stop and help someone, even if all you can do is hold
their hand until help arrives. If you can, call 911. Once help gets there, stay
out of the way. If you are not a witness or involved, leave. The last thing any
of these folks needs is one more bystander. People are now afraid of others.
Many will not let you help them when stranded, so offer to call someone for them
(AAA, a relative, Police). Set an example. It's the most effective way to change
things.
Notes On a Nomadic Chapter
Why
Be Nomadic?
1. It's Fun.
As such, if you're not a middle of the road
kinda person, chances are you'll fit in among the wide variety that don't.
Everyone from widows in big class A motorhomes to nomad van-dwellers are out
here. There are legal, financial, privacy, and just plain peace of mind benefits
to being mobile and self-contained. Should you decide to become
affiliated with an organization, there are clubs and services available all over
the country. I can vouch for having AAA, for example. I also hear Good Sam
(they’re both travel/road assistance clubs) is worth checking into.
"Wierdness is a set of binoculars by
which we see past the innocuous."
-Wierd Poet Ed
"Sure," you say, "the day a
land yacht getting 10 m.p.g. is efficient, I'll eat my sandals." Roast 'em
up there, sizzlechest. How much electricity does your average full-time nomad
use? Having no house, how many trees came down to build his/her home? How much
water does he/she waste? We are just using what is already there... roads,
places to park, and little more gas than someone who commutes into work every
day. And we're good for businesses, too. We won't ask for benefit packages or
company loyalty (that's a good one) and security (snicker) so many
wish for. A few weeks of work during your busy time and we're happy. In fact,
we're generally happy. That pisses `em all off more than anything. “They’re
happy with less - they must be lazy or nuts.”
I don't know if you want to or not. My
purpose here is not to convince you; it is only to remind you of that which you
perhaps already know but have not become pro-active about. If this all appeals
to you and you have nothing holding you in one place, what are you waiting for?
Sell your stuff, bank some cash, give your notice and find your wheels. Tune in,
drop out, and ride on. You can always go back and pick up a more
"normal" path anytime you want, but as a more worldly and expanded
individual you will bring that much more to anything you then decide to involve
yourself in.
Who is nomadic: Truck drivers. Touring
musicians. Beatnicks to bikers and homeless by choice. Artists. Hip people of
various description. Elderly full-timers. Not so elderly full-timers. The fields
and plains of this country's past nomads have been replaced by the roads and
highways of the modern age. But the theory is the same; to use that which is
available for use, leave as few footprints as possible, and make one's own
decisions about where to go and what to do. Sounds pretty RADICAL in these
times, doesn't it?
Successful nomads are willing to live within their means.
It helps to be of a mindset where you don't spring for a $8 meal every day...
you buy a loaf of good bread for a buck fifty, spend the rest on stuff to put in
it and eat for a week. And lastly, I've found these people to be way more
relaxed and laid back than the average
"stationary"; certainly moreso than your average commuter. They enjoy
the adventure aspect of it all and don't see minor breakdowns, searches for
sites and facing the unknowns one faces daily in an improvisational lifestyle as
hardships. They understand the difference between crisis and inconvenience,
deprivation and simple living. To me, "roughing it"
has always meant punching someone else's time clock at 8am for the rest of my
life. Running out of cash and having to do so temporarily? Having to go sing on
a street corner with my guitar case open for change? No problem. Kris
Kristofferson said it best: "Freedom's just another word for nothin'
left to lose." Having nothing at all, being a monk, well I don't know.
But as an overall philosophy to have little enough to keep from being owned by
what you possess, it frees you up a bit in mind, body, and soul; and you see
life not through the stress-distorted filters of the constant climb or chase, or
worrying about something or someone or some group taking it all away... but from
within the journey, here, now, and smelling the flowers as you go.
Lists
10
Commandments of Nomadic Living
1. Stop
and offer assistance wherever needed.
2.
Don't put your tire tracks where they don't belong.
3.
Leave some room, and peace & quiet, for the other guy.
4.
Conduct yourself so future guests will be welcome. Plain English? "Don't
be a dickhead."
5. Stay
off the road when you're tired or unfit to drive.
6.
Leave nothing but your footprints behind.
7.
Truckers DO own the roads; show them respect.
8. Be
prepared.
9. Take what you need, leave/pass on the rest. &nb